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Unread 01-01-2011, 03:56 PM   #301 (permalink)
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You're not Jewish - just a Jew.


The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.
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Unread 01-01-2011, 04:10 PM   #302 (permalink)
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Can everyone join me in praying that it snows, a lot, in NYC tonight? Thank you.
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Unread 01-01-2011, 04:28 PM   #303 (permalink)
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Get the fuck off our board you dirty fucking Jew.

#YOLO
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Unread 01-02-2011, 03:43 AM   #304 (permalink)
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Oh boy. This is awkward. I actually AM jewish.
What's so akward about hating you cause your a Jew? Seem your the one with the problem.

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Unread 01-02-2011, 06:05 AM   #305 (permalink)
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I secured the cover on this with scotch tape, brewed some tea, turned on my reading lamp, got cozy in my chair, opened this beezy up, only to find out the first 28 pages are missing. God dammit, FC. I was looking forward to some Jung. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do?

In other news, I started the Kim Jong-Il one too. It's pretty good, and so far has all the pages.
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Unread 01-03-2011, 05:27 AM   #306 (permalink)
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Wow! I take back all the things I said about Secret Santa. I love Christmas now!

I got a package!


The first present is CuPonk. It's basically a Mattel version of beer pong. The instructions don't explicitly say to incorporate drinking, but I know it's implied.


Next is lots of bird treats! How did you know I had a bird?!?!? Yoshi is gonna love this shit!




Next is about the best board game ever:


Here's the card. I'm not sure if the card is FROM Jesus or FOR Jesus. I hope I didn't open up the wrong present.


Secret Santa, whoever you are, I thank you.
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Unread 01-03-2011, 06:51 AM   #307 (permalink)
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My Santa has delivered his payload:

A nice wallet:


Class:


It even came with a fake stache for my drivers license:


A book entitled "Porn for new Moms" Which cleaverly places good looking men with babies in situations which would make new mommies all wet down below:





Thank you, Secret Santa.


The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.
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Unread 01-03-2011, 09:51 AM   #308 (permalink)
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My gift arrived on the 28th but i've been busy celebrating the past couple days.







The saddam dvd should be quality and the gay-jewish-barmitzah-emcee video looks good for a laugh. Never seen hostel but the tarantino connection might be good. Of course all of these would be better if i actually owned a television or dvd player.... My little sister thanks you for the Hillary Duff videos. I'd like to say I'll watch 'em with her but honestly i don't see it happening.

The little soccer game as fun for about 20 seconds. I gave it to a child at the grocery store who was very happy to have it.

And the best part, box of ultra lubricated lifestyles! I can always use more condoms, but the unopened three will probably see more use than the used one, ya never know though. I just hope you weren't "thinking of me" when you "made" that final addition.

Thanks Santa!
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Unread 01-03-2011, 10:03 AM   #309 (permalink)
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I can't believe my secret santa was worried about birdfood arriving via mail, but yours sent a used condom.
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Unread 01-03-2011, 04:52 PM   #310 (permalink)
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THE REST OF MY GIFT ARRIVED

And it's fantastic.

I received a walkie-talkie-eque message from Ironic Mustache asking if the gift had arrived yet. Checking the front step revealed that it had, indeed, arrived!



Ripping the box open yielded unfathomable treasure.



First, the card. A card that looks terribly familiar...



Hmm, where have I seen this before?



You crafty son of a bitch.

Following the instructions in the card, I proceeded to the tiniest gift. A keychain flask!



Hooray for smuggling very tiny amounts of liquid!

And then to the giant cone of bubble wrap:



Firestone Double Barrel! What a tremendously thoughtful gift. I mentioned this beer in the Sexbox in passing awhile ago. I had it when Tits and I were in California a couple months ago and was bitching about how it isn't available here. Now I have twenty-two ounces of it to use as masturbatory lube! Thanks!

And the final gift. It feels soft. Perhaps a linen of some type. Let's see...



A Nubblies.net shirt! How cool! Let's see what's on the other side...



Oh shit! It's commemorating my mustache! God bless his heart. Not a day passes that I don't think of him. This is a sweet sentiment.



Thanks Santa!
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Unread 01-03-2011, 04:57 PM   #311 (permalink)
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That T-Shirt is in a whole other fucking league of awesome. IM certainly brought it this year.
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Unread 01-03-2011, 05:18 PM   #312 (permalink)
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Epic.
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Unread 01-03-2011, 08:26 PM   #313 (permalink)
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That tshirt is both awesome and a lil' creepy!
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Unread 01-03-2011, 08:27 PM   #314 (permalink)
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That is pretty fucking hilarious.
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Unread 01-03-2011, 08:31 PM   #315 (permalink)
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Best Santa ever.


The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.
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Unread 01-03-2011, 09:07 PM   #316 (permalink)
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Only that could top that is perhaps sending an escort over.

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I will rape your soul in hell forever.
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Unread 01-03-2011, 10:11 PM   #317 (permalink)
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And it appears to be a perfect fit as well. It's pre-shrunk so you should be able to enjoy that shirt until you sprout another mustache later this year.

Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.
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Unread 01-03-2011, 11:24 PM   #318 (permalink)
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Why are the words backwards?














Cuz I have no idea

#YOLO
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Unread 01-03-2011, 11:33 PM   #319 (permalink)
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Quote:
Cuz I have no idea
Immediate Detroll
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Unread 01-04-2011, 02:44 PM   #320 (permalink)
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I have a good suspicion that my secret santer is none other than the incredibledork. Maybe he sent me Warren???? That would be cool cause cats are good and Warren kicks ass. Or maybe it's a gun? Fucking excited to open it tonight.

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Unread 01-04-2011, 07:15 PM   #321 (permalink)
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better than a gun.

#YOLO
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Unread 01-04-2011, 10:02 PM   #322 (permalink)
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Cool! I get Warren. He's a bad muthafucka.

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Unread 01-04-2011, 10:22 PM   #323 (permalink)
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I bet he sent you Picards ashes, to treasure forever.
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Unread 01-05-2011, 12:38 AM   #324 (permalink)
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Too soon.

#YOLO
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Unread 01-05-2011, 02:32 AM   #325 (permalink)
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Will have to wait to post pics probably tomorrow or next day. But gift is opened and it is awesome. Fucking night vision googles! Better than a gun or Warren.

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