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http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._4022198_n.jpg
What’s this? A package for me?!?! It’s from Santa at Christmas Lane, North Pole. The postage was even paid by reindeer! It says “4 F3lix <3 Secret Santa." On the side, it says, “Hail the Sexbear!” http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._7074628_n.jpg Lots of packaging paper. Maybe the contents are fragile. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...1_738649_n.jpg Even some bubble wrap! I’m starting to see some gifts on the right side of the box. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._8128872_n.jpg Well look at this group of hodgepodge gifts! Let’s take a closer look. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._4427097_n.jpg http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._4209999_n.jpg I don’t know what this is, but I like it. You hold it by a string and it moves around, providing a dazzling array of colors and mind-bending imagery. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._1867820_n.jpg http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...8_289252_n.jpg Yes! A disguise. If only it wasn’t broken, I could have pulled off a few heists over the next month. I’ll just have to grow out my own thick stache. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...6_168375_n.jpg A single York Peppermint patty. I hope it tastes good! http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._6441144_n.jpg An Urban Myth quiz book! It’s a book of games for Team A (alphas) and Team B (bitches). It’s as if Shaw and I are already on different teams. I hope Repug doesn’t want to play, or I’ll be outnumbered. There are twenty different games to be played. A few examples are the need to identify whether or not Bluebeard was a real pirate and During the Vietnam War, more Americans were killed by guns in America than were killed overseas in combat. Below is an attempted photo of a page. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._7192147_n.jpg Next up… http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._1015890_n.jpg Red Hook is a 2009 Horror film. Perhaps I’ll watch this while trying to swing some poon in Indy. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._5052980_n.jpg A Man’s place is behind the bar. It’s by Tucker Shaw, who is clearly the bastard child of Tucker Max and Shaw. The book is very colorful, as seen below… http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._2452617_n.jpg Great photographs and explainations of different bar necessities including definitions, measurements converters, and is inside a smooth cover which is just slightly less enjoyable to touch than a fine male shaft. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...4_929277_n.jpg …Twice Shy is a 1989 album by Great White. Interesting CD cover, with the two babes wearing red on a red tarp, with a shark fin nearby. The band plays a brand of rock in that confused late 80s rock genre. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._6522730_n.jpg A deck of “magic cards” which are just a deck of cards with a jutting edge that allows for a card to be found easily when it is returned to the deck, turned the opposite direction. I’ll use this on some innocent little children. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._2698038_n.jpg From 1975, we have a cassette tape of Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy. I need to find a cassette deck to give this one a listen. Itunes would justify ignoring a physical gift. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...8_320791_n.jpg 100 poker chips for taking kids money. This is better for me to use in stricter environments, where a normal chip set would be easily exploited. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._6753927_n.jpg My shih-tzu has enjoyed her new toy. It’s pretty cute in the small mouth of my doggy. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._5393738_n.jpg All together, a pretty impressive variety of gifts! Thanks Santa! |
[ ] well worth the wait
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Ho to the muthafuckin ho ho. Steve has sent me a text stating that my gift has arrived. I will open and post pictures on January 5, 2011, assuming the package can still be located at that time. I am so relieved that my secret santer is not the insignificant failed puke ball that I had feared.
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Hopefully the pictures you post will be larger than f3lix's thumbnails.
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Admins? |
You guys have some fucked up shit going on. The pictures are small, but they aren't thumbnails nor are they links to a facebook album...
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I had the worst time trying to get those pics off my phone and in to this page. I couldn't find the nubblies uploader (I now see it sitting right below this box I'm typing in) and hate uploading pictures. I just suck at it.
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^ typical Apple user ^
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Remember the time f3lix couldn't figure out how to resize a picture to be an avatar on his mac?
The guy is a true enigma. He has the mind of a very old man trapped in the body of a 40 year old. |
I was to understand that Apple computers were easier to use and had superior performance in photo/video/music editing applications. Is this not true?
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They are. Converted to Mac a couple years back and they just kick ass. That said, it does work differently and sometimes I find myself opening an instructional book on simple shit.
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I've never been good at pics to nubblies, especially with uploading from any device to any computer.
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HO HO HO! ORGAZMO, YOUR SECRET SANTA HAS SUCCESSFULLY SENT ALL PARTS OF YOUR GIFT AS OF YESTERDAY, DESPITE BEING BUTTFUCKED BY UPS & USPS!
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Oh sweet! It should get here just in time to be late!
Unless the gift arrives in the next 33.25 hours, you've failed me and everyone else that participated in this glorious event. I hope you're proud. |
I got home last night. This afternoon, my roommate informed me there were a couple of packages in the garage with my name on them. That's right, "a couple". My SS sent me two packages, not just one. My SS rules. He's different. He's not like the peasant SS's that you guys have.
Pics forthcoming. |
I converted to a Mac 3 months ago and hate it. I'm trying to sell this POS as soon as possible to go back to a PC.
Don't buy into the marketing, Mac's blow. |
Oh boy! Two presents from Santa!
http://scouthatesyou.com/ss1.jpg Let's start with the thing that feels like a picture frame first. http://scouthatesyou.com/ss2.jpg Gift wrapped, nice! The back of it reads "Do not throw away. This painting is cursed." http://scouthatesyou.com/ss3.jpg Hmm... I wonder what's on the front of it? Let's build some suspense and set it to the side for later. Now onto the box. I wonder what's inside? http://scouthatesyou.com/ss4.jpg Oh boy! Gift wrapped presents and lots of them! This is very exciting! http://scouthatesyou.com/ss5.jpg There are nine presents and they are numbered. http://scouthatesyou.com/ss6.jpg I think Santa wants me to open them in order. Let's start with number one. http://scouthatesyou.com/ss7.jpg Batteries. Hmm... I wonder what these could be for? Onto number two... http://scouthatesyou.com/ss8.jpg Oh my! A wind-up toy cock that hops! It's almost an exact-scale model of my own! Let's try number three. It feels like a flask. I've never owned a flask before. Please be a flask! http://scouthatesyou.com/ss9.jpg It is! It is a flask! Thanks Santa! Number four... http://scouthatesyou.com/ss10.jpg Oh wow! This just keeps getting better and better! A homemade pepper blend with a warning that it is very, very spicy. Santa must know that I love spicy foods. I will try it soon, but only a little at first, of course. Let's see what package #5 has to offer... http://scouthatesyou.com/ss11.jpg Ramen! The best Ramen ever, apparently. What a perfect thing to try my newfound spices with! Six feels like a can of some type of liquid. Perhaps alcoholic liquid? Surely Santa does not love me that much... http://scouthatesyou.com/ss12.jpg Oh but wait he does!!! A can of Four Loko! Sweet day!! I have been wanting to try this stuff for a while now! I will save it for a special occasion. New Years Eve sounds fitting for now. Christmas could stop now and have been a wonderful success, but since my Santa rules so fucking hard, I still have three more gifts to open plus a painting to flip over. #7... http://scouthatesyou.com/ss13.jpg Oh my!! Cherry flavored blowjob lubricant!! How did Santa know my girlfriend loves cherry flavored things? Hmm... seriously, how did he know that? Santa wouldn't... no. Impossible. A mere coincidence is all. Thanks Santa!! #8... http://scouthatesyou.com/ss14.jpg BBs! But is what's advertised on the outside actually what's on the inside? http://scouthatesyou.com/ss15.jpg Indeed it is! 2,500 BBs all for me. That's 2500 days I can ruin at my choosing. I'll be sure to pick up a gun in the near future. Thanks Santa!! And now for the final package. #9... http://scouthatesyou.com/ss16.jpg HOLY FUCKING BALLSACK. SANTA GOT ME A BB GUN. MY VERY OWN BB GUN. WITH A FUCKING SCOPE!!! A MOTHERFUCKING SCOPE!!! YEE-HAW!!!! WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://scouthatesyou.com/ss18.jpg http://scouthatesyou.com/ss19.jpg I HAVE THE BEST SANTA EVER!!!! KEER-POW, KEER-POW!!!! http://scouthatesyou.com/ss17.jpg HEY GUYS, GUESS WHAT? MY SANTA BOUGHT ME A MOTHERFUCKING GUN!!!! http://scouthatesyou.com/ss21.jpg A GUN!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT? MY SANTA BOUGHT ME A MOTHERFUCKING WEAPON!!!!!!!!!! http://scouthatesyou.com/ss20.jpg Oh my this day will never be topped. Never. Let's flip that painting over... http://scouthatesyou.com/ss23.jpg Clowns! Good god, clowns!! Hahahaha... oh fuck me I hate clowns. But alas, I cannot throw this painting away because Santa has informed me it is cursed. Indeed, will carry this with me and hide it in closets and garages for the remainder of my life. I must. I have no choice. I want not to be cursed. The total haul: http://scouthatesyou.com/ss24.jpg THANKS SANTA!!!! THANKS FOR BEING THE BEST SANTA EVER!!! *My best guess is that my Santa is pliedes. The Bloomington zip code on the return address plus the ultra-awesomeness of the gift has me ~85% certain of this, but I'm happy to hear any theories to the contrary. If my theory is indeed correct, I will shower pliedes with posrep every chance I remember until the end of time for this. I won the Santa lottery!!! |
Wow
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So it seems like guns, knives, and booze is the way to go.
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I thought AP had this in the bag for sure, but whoever UB's SS is, well, he's just tits.
Edit: It's not me. |
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Wooooow. That gift is out of this world.
I have a feeling 2k11 is going to be something special after these shining performances. Really looking forward to it. Oh, and looking forward to getting a gift this year. Then again, it's looking like my gift isn't going to arrive until next year. It's probably not a motherfucking gun, either. |
Looks like Secret Santa has escalated into a full blown arms race ... so much for the $25ish dollar target.
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I agree. This whole spending limit thing is creating an obvious problem.
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If I'm not mistaken, the $25 limit is a price floor not a ceiling, meaning the santa could go much further beyond $25.
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