Very nice.

Your calculations are correct. I'm glad you enjoyed the contents of the box.

That was an awesome gift. Fruit's secret santa came through in spades.

Absolutely fantastic gift.

I will pay you $8 shipped for the drunk belt buckle.

Sold.

At least you didn't get a subscription to Playboy ... you can still hold out hope of opening something sweet.

Oh my god!!!! What a kickass gift!!! Secret Santa has really been stepped up in 2k10.

I agree with UB. A subscription to playboy is a kickass gift.

Not if you're gay though. poor ddt.

This. Porn is free. Mediocre articles are free.

I hate to be a negative Nancy or even a worried Wilma, but we are one week away from Christmas with no mention of the impending gifts that have yet to be received.

Fuck, I'm glad I didn't draw DDT. I kinda get the impression he'd be bitching regardless.

Public opinion poll: Would you rather get all of your gift at once on the 27th-29th, or would you rather get 97% on the 24th (followed by 3% on the 27th-2th)?

All at once imo.

I think gifts that arrive by the first of the year can be considered a success.

I agree. Also, I'm working on posting my present as we speak. There was a technical problem that had to do with me having one of my elves helping me. Pictures to follow in about 10 minutes.

12 minutes later...

I can't stand the suspense!

I want my fucking present now Santa.

Tick tock, motherfucker.

Sorry for the wait.

So here it is folks, the Ironic Mustache package opening:

So I noticed packaging problems from the get. Not at all indicative of a bad present, but for sure indicative of the poor planning and utter fucking garbage that will come into play later when I get framed by bullshit……..

http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo...ta/2/open.jpeg

I was pleasantly surprised, however, by this:

NSFW

And it gets better from here… A sweet mermaid tattoo, which at first glance looks like a fat mermaid, but is actually just a mirage and is a normal mermaid with weird hair.

http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo.../image_2_.jpeg

Not sure what the fuck this is for, but I promise to find some awesome use for it. It has a voice sensor and I think it's for giving epileptic kids seizures. It might just be a flashing light of some kind with no batteries but we'll find out later its true usage. Anything with a voice sensor has potential.

http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo...a/2/light.jpeg

Moving on… Next, the card. You’ll notice it is meant for a black son. It is not at all lost on me that there is an entire demographic for Christmas cards for black fathers who are not present for their son’s holiday celebrations. There's probably a whole section for this niche.

http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo...ta/2/card1.jpg

Here is the booty almost in its entirety:

http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo...a/2/Whole.jpeg

Wait, did I mention there were individually wrapped gifts as well? Well there are, and here they are:

This is labeled in the card as the leg from a championship cock fighter from my home country (Mexico for those of you who don’t know me from nubblies, but also for those of you who actually know me and know that I’m in no way shape or form Mexican, but choose to ignore the fact due to its comedic value (I don’t think any of you know me in IRL, so I might as well just be Mexican)). Championship cock legs go for like 8 billion pesos, which is like $4 American, so I can only deduce that this is from someone who knows their shit. At any rate, it lasted as my new back scratcher for a few minutes until my cat took off with it and I had to put it away.

http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo...ata/2/leg.jpeg

And now a moment of silence for el campeón that once was.


. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .



Moving on. This was the gift marked numero dos (2). I don’t know where it came from, and I don’t care for the implications at all.
http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo...2/sbcbaw1.jpeg

Picture #3: Fuck you Santa, you think you know me? You think you can just bring up France and don’t think I’m not going to bring up Spain? Fuck you for real Santa, we’ll see what’s up. You don’t think a motha fucka can’t get gangsta up in here? Spain bitch... People don't forget... Spain.

http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo.../sbccolor.jpeg

And a final usage of the mermaid tattoo:

http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo...dium/tatt2.jpg

seems pretty incriminating.

I googled Hope Dworacyzk not two lines into your post.

Yeah that bitch is incredible. I didn't know about her before this either, and I love me some brunettes. Her tits are a little too fake for my taste though.

HO HO HO COCKBAG! YOUR SHIT SHOULD BE THERE TUESDAY OR WEDNESDAY!!!

ALSO REPUG SENT ME A MESSAGE TO TELL DJFC HIS SHIT IS ON THE WAY AND "FUCK YOU FOR LIVING OUT OF THE COUNTRY"

Things are not looking up for me :(

God damnit Santa. I guess it's Karma that I know my Santa.