Secret Santa 2k11 - Page 4 - Nubblies.net Forums

DDTempest · 12-16-2011, 09:53 AM

How many beers was he supposed to receive?

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-16-2011, 09:54 AM

HO FUCKING HO COCKBAGS

Gather 'round while Santa tells you a tale ...

The tale of the first Nubblite and the real meaning of Nubblies Christmas. In the beginning, in a land truly without time, there was a mighty man named Nubblor. Because of his ferocity he was often referred to simply as "the Bear". He stalked the countryside of prehistoric Europa and through the sands of Arabia slaying all that dared stand before him; men, beasts, and gods alike fell under his wrath. He fought for many causes, many of which were still meaningless in the ancient world ... but Nubblor's instinctual morality transcended what we refer to as time.

In his travels Nubblor came to the little town of Bethlehem on the very eve of Christ's birth. His foresight had granted him knowledge of a beast approaching from the South; the greatest lion in all of Africa had been sent by the Devil himself to slay the Christ child. Nubblor knew the Devil had imbued the lion with all the evils of the world and that only he would be able to stop it.

Nubblor had long ago stowed away the souls of the old gods, today he would call on their fading wisdom to defeat the lion. Knowing that no weapon crafted by man or god could harm the demon and no armor could protect him from its wrath, Nubblor chose to meet the lion unarmed and unarmored in combat.

Nubblor the Bear, did meet the lion in battle having summoned the powers of all things good in this world. The battle was long and arduous, the details of which have been portrayed in antiquities spanning the entire globe and all of human history:

While all accounts of the battle vary, one truth is universally known: Nubblor achieved victory by grasping his might arms around the mane of the massive lion and squeezing with such force that the lion's neck was utterly pulverized.

After this great feat, Nubblor consecrated his glorious victory - bedding some 200-300 virgins in one night ... the night that would come be known as Christmas.

THIS IS WHY WE CELEBRATE
For we are all descendants of Nubblor "the Sexbear," and it was our destiny to follow the road which led us here.

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-16-2011, 05:51 PM

FC--your gift has been loaded onto the sleigh and will be delivered down Orgazmo's chimney on Monday.

Saint DH · 12-17-2011, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Secret Fucking Santa

FC--your gift has been loaded onto the sleigh and will be delivered down Orgazmo's chimney on Monday.

I'm sure that won't be the only thing delivered down Orgazmo's chimney when FC shows up.

DJ FC · 12-18-2011, 07:30 AM

YES! (to both)

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-19-2011, 12:08 PM

Orgazmo, some faggot ass Elf told me your present is on it's way, probably lathered in baby oil because he was too fucking busy masturbating on himself to log in and send this message himself. We can say with certainty that your Secret Santa is a piece of shit and your present is probably utter garbage. Ho ho ho.

Sittinondubs - you get your package yet? ho ho ho I sent it out on the 15th.

SittinOnDubsWGW · 12-19-2011, 01:02 PM

I'm wont be at my place until tomorrow. I've been outta state

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-19-2011, 01:21 PM

UB, your gift is currently in Illinois and will be arriving at Orgazmo's on Wednesday.

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-19-2011, 04:22 PM

HO HO HO HO HO

SANTA HAS A MESSAGE FOR... REPUGNANT ABOMINATION!

Part 1 of 2 of your gift is estimated to arrive NEXT TUESDAY. Santa thinks that maybe if you didn't live in shithole Oregon he would be able to get your gift to you sooner!

HO HO HO HO HO cocksuckers

Ironic Mustache · 12-19-2011, 05:54 PM

LOL @ Ashland.

Ironic Mustache · 12-19-2011, 06:13 PM

It is official, my bounty of goods has been delivered to my house. I will post an update as soon as I get to it.

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-19-2011, 07:49 PM

HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
SANTA HAS A MESSAGE FOR... f3lix!

TOMORROW YOU SHALL DIE FROM GRATEFULNESS ASSUMING YOUR PACKAGE ARRIVES AS SCHEDULED AND YOU ARE DEATHLY GRATEFUL!

HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

j money · 12-19-2011, 10:57 PM

Santa--where the fuck is my gift? If it is not on the way I would wait to send it until Friday or Monday as I will be out of town until next Tuesday. I don't want any of these cotton pickin negros to get it. Thanks Santa!

Ironic Mustache · 12-20-2011, 02:22 PM

Ho Ho Hoooray! My gift is on time even though it appears to have been shipped all the way from London! Maybe there’s a Rolex or something in here:

Let’s start with the note. Ooooh alcohol perhaps? My Secret Fucking Santa appears to know me on a personal level. The menorah is either a clue to my SFS's true identity or a clever ruse to distract me from it.

Well no alcohol so far, but still interesting. A blow up cactus:

What else do we have here… Hmmm, a mustache!! Now we’re getting somewhere:

Okay wait a second. There seems to be somewhat of a racist trend emerging. A giant Mexican flag:

Finally a break from the racism. A giant pen!

Ooooh and I’ll be able to use that pen to jot down notes and underline important passages in my new book!

Just in time too because I was just about to announce my plans for becoming a single mother:

All of this present opening is working up an appetite. Good thing I now have some penis pasta to eat!

One last gift to go. It’s a shirt! It’s a shirt and also appears to be an insult! It appears to be a shirt from a restaurant in Manila called, “Hobbit House.” Is this a recommendation for the restaurant, or an implication that I should inquire about employment? You’re a dick Secret Fucking Santa! I should note that the shirt is a size medium. If I lose some weight I should be able to squeeze into it.

Not a bad haul this year Secret Fucking Santa. Thank you sir!

SittinOnDubsWGW · 12-20-2011, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Secret Fucking Santa

Sittinondubs - you get your package yet? ho ho ho I sent it out on the 15th.

Nope, not here yet.

EDIT: My neighbor just brought it over. Pics to follow.

SittinOnDubsWGW · 12-20-2011, 07:05 PM

TILT YOUR HEADS MOTHERFUCKERS.

So I open up the box, and this is what I see

The first thing that was spotted was.

Everybody loves some delicious ham.

Followed up with the Hulk contained within a little jar (Unsure of if this is edible as it looks like it's sugar or sand all over it? I'm not going to eat it.)

Fuck yeah, it's the Abominable Snowman!!

There's something hefty here all wrapped up in a towel and a T-shirt along with some little skulls throughout the box.

Unsure of if this used shirt was just extra padding, or if Santa felt like it was a cool hand-me-down.

What's underneath all of the wrapping???

THE MIGHTY NUBBLOR!!!

Thank you Santa, you kick ass!!!

I think we Santa left a clue to his identity, that bearded bastard.

DDTempest · 12-20-2011, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SittinOnDubsWGW

What's underneath all of the wrapping???

THE MIGHTY NUBLOR!!!

I may be mistaken, but I think its spelled Nubblor. Hopefully you like it, took

10 applications of paint

to get that finish.

The shirt was not intended to be a hand down --- just ran out of shitty towels to wrap the thing in.

SittinOnDubsWGW · 12-20-2011, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DDTempest

I may be mistaken, but I think its spelled Nubblor. Hopefully you like it, took

10 applications of paint

to get that finish.

The shirt was not intended to be a hand down --- just ran out of shitty towels to wrap the thing in.

Fixed... Yeah dude. It's awesome. Mucho thanks.

Ironic Mustache · 12-20-2011, 09:01 PM

Nubblor alone makes that badass, even without the Situation action figure. Also, you'd better fucking eat that fucking ham.

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-20-2011, 09:21 PM

HOHOHOHOHOHO

f3lix: YOUR PACKAGE HAS ARRIVED.

HOHOHOHOHOHO

f3lix · 12-21-2011, 08:50 PM

Thank you, Santa. I just got it and will post tomorrow with my opening!

angry pancake · 12-21-2011, 09:09 PM

Alright SFS. Get off yer ass.

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-22-2011, 01:22 PM

HOHOHOHOHOHO

Ugly Bastard, there is a package on Orgazmo's porch with your name on it.

HOHOHOHOHOHO

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-22-2011, 02:09 PM

HOHOHOHOHOHO

Kremlin, your shit is in the mail, it'll get there as soon as it gets across the pond. Happy Hanukkah!

HOHOHOHOHOHO

Orgazmo · 12-22-2011, 04:39 PM

FC's package has arrived at his house. I've pm'd him this and my phone number, but there's a fair chance that he doesn't check this between now and tomorrow (when I am available to meet up with him in northern Indiana).

Do any of you have the gentleman's phone number? If so, please pm to me.

Thanks.

12-16-2011, 09:54 AM	#77 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	HO FUCKING HO COCKBAGS Gather 'round while Santa tells you a tale ... The tale of the first Nubblite and the real meaning of Nubblies Christmas. In the beginning, in a land truly without time, there was a mighty man named Nubblor. Because of his ferocity he was often referred to simply as "the Bear". He stalked the countryside of prehistoric Europa and through the sands of Arabia slaying all that dared stand before him; men, beasts, and gods alike fell under his wrath. He fought for many causes, many of which were still meaningless in the ancient world ... but Nubblor's instinctual morality transcended what we refer to as time. In his travels Nubblor came to the little town of Bethlehem on the very eve of Christ's birth. His foresight had granted him knowledge of a beast approaching from the South; the greatest lion in all of Africa had been sent by the Devil himself to slay the Christ child. Nubblor knew the Devil had imbued the lion with all the evils of the world and that only he would be able to stop it. Nubblor had long ago stowed away the souls of the old gods, today he would call on their fading wisdom to defeat the lion. Knowing that no weapon crafted by man or god could harm the demon and no armor could protect him from its wrath, Nubblor chose to meet the lion unarmed and unarmored in combat. Nubblor the Bear, did meet the lion in battle having summoned the powers of all things good in this world. The battle was long and arduous, the details of which have been portrayed in antiquities spanning the entire globe and all of human history: While all accounts of the battle vary, one truth is universally known: Nubblor achieved victory by grasping his might arms around the mane of the massive lion and squeezing with such force that the lion's neck was utterly pulverized. After this great feat, Nubblor consecrated his glorious victory - bedding some 200-300 virgins in one night ... the night that would come be known as Christmas. THIS IS WHY WE CELEBRATE For we are all descendants of Nubblor "the Sexbear," and it was our destiny to follow the road which led us here.
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-16-2011, 05:51 PM	#78 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	FC--your gift has been loaded onto the sleigh and will be delivered down Orgazmo's chimney on Monday.
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-18-2011, 07:30 AM	#80 (permalink)
DJ FC MURICAN Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 5,136 Internets: 250185	YES! (to both)
	The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.

12-19-2011, 12:08 PM	#81 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	Orgazmo, some faggot ass Elf told me your present is on it's way, probably lathered in baby oil because he was too fucking busy masturbating on himself to log in and send this message himself. We can say with certainty that your Secret Santa is a piece of shit and your present is probably utter garbage. Ho ho ho. Sittinondubs - you get your package yet? ho ho ho I sent it out on the 15th.
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-19-2011, 01:21 PM	#83 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	UB, your gift is currently in Illinois and will be arriving at Orgazmo's on Wednesday.
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-19-2011, 01:02 PM	#82 (permalink)
SittinOnDubsWGW I make bad decisions. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: The Desert Posts: 3,018 Internets: 108015	I'm wont be at my place until tomorrow. I've been outta state

12-19-2011, 04:22 PM	#84 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	HO HO HO HO HO SANTA HAS A MESSAGE FOR... REPUGNANT ABOMINATION! Part 1 of 2 of your gift is estimated to arrive NEXT TUESDAY. Santa thinks that maybe if you didn't live in shithole Oregon he would be able to get your gift to you sooner! HO HO HO HO HO cocksuckers
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-19-2011, 05:54 PM	#85 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	LOL @ Ashland.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

12-19-2011, 06:13 PM	#86 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	It is official, my bounty of goods has been delivered to my house. I will post an update as soon as I get to it.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

12-19-2011, 07:49 PM	#87 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO SANTA HAS A MESSAGE FOR... f3lix! TOMORROW YOU SHALL DIE FROM GRATEFULNESS ASSUMING YOUR PACKAGE ARRIVES AS SCHEDULED AND YOU ARE DEATHLY GRATEFUL! HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-19-2011, 10:57 PM	#88 (permalink)
j money Long Live Dixie Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 166 Internets: 35125	Santa--where the fuck is my gift? If it is not on the way I would wait to send it until Friday or Monday as I will be out of town until next Tuesday. I don't want any of these cotton pickin negros to get it. Thanks Santa!

12-20-2011, 02:22 PM	#89 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Ho Ho Hoooray! My gift is on time even though it appears to have been shipped all the way from London! Maybe there’s a Rolex or something in here: Let’s start with the note. Ooooh alcohol perhaps? My Secret Fucking Santa appears to know me on a personal level. The menorah is either a clue to my SFS's true identity or a clever ruse to distract me from it. Well no alcohol so far, but still interesting. A blow up cactus: What else do we have here… Hmmm, a mustache!! Now we’re getting somewhere: Okay wait a second. There seems to be somewhat of a racist trend emerging. A giant Mexican flag: Finally a break from the racism. A giant pen! Ooooh and I’ll be able to use that pen to jot down notes and underline important passages in my new book! Just in time too because I was just about to announce my plans for becoming a single mother: All of this present opening is working up an appetite. Good thing I now have some penis pasta to eat! One last gift to go. It’s a shirt! It’s a shirt and also appears to be an insult! It appears to be a shirt from a restaurant in Manila called, “Hobbit House.” Is this a recommendation for the restaurant, or an implication that I should inquire about employment? You’re a dick Secret Fucking Santa! I should note that the shirt is a size medium. If I lose some weight I should be able to squeeze into it. Not a bad haul this year Secret Fucking Santa. Thank you sir!
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

12-20-2011, 07:05 PM	#91 (permalink)
SittinOnDubsWGW I make bad decisions. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: The Desert Posts: 3,018 Internets: 108015	TILT YOUR HEADS MOTHERFUCKERS. So I open up the box, and this is what I see The first thing that was spotted was. Everybody loves some delicious ham. Followed up with the Hulk contained within a little jar (Unsure of if this is edible as it looks like it's sugar or sand all over it? I'm not going to eat it.) Fuck yeah, it's the Abominable Snowman!! There's something hefty here all wrapped up in a towel and a T-shirt along with some little skulls throughout the box. Unsure of if this used shirt was just extra padding, or if Santa felt like it was a cool hand-me-down. What's underneath all of the wrapping??? THE MIGHTY NUBBLOR!!! Thank you Santa, you kick ass!!! I think we Santa left a clue to his identity, that bearded bastard.
	Last edited by SittinOnDubsWGW; 12-20-2011 at 08:37 PM.

12-20-2011, 09:01 PM	#94 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Nubblor alone makes that badass, even without the Situation action figure. Also, you'd better fucking eat that fucking ham.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

12-20-2011, 09:21 PM	#95 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	HOHOHOHOHOHO f3lix: YOUR PACKAGE HAS ARRIVED. HOHOHOHOHOHO
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-21-2011, 08:50 PM	#96 (permalink)
f3lix Gangnam Style Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DH's Massage Parlor Posts: 6,383 Internets: 213510	Thank you, Santa. I just got it and will post tomorrow with my opening!

12-22-2011, 01:22 PM	#98 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	HOHOHOHOHOHO Ugly Bastard, there is a package on Orgazmo's porch with your name on it. HOHOHOHOHOHO
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-22-2011, 02:09 PM	#99 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	HOHOHOHOHOHO Kremlin, your shit is in the mail, it'll get there as soon as it gets across the pond. Happy Hanukkah! HOHOHOHOHOHO
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-22-2011, 04:39 PM	#100 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,697 Internets: 305662	FC's package has arrived at his house. I've pm'd him this and my phone number, but there's a fair chance that he doesn't check this between now and tomorrow (when I am available to meet up with him in northern Indiana). Do any of you have the gentleman's phone number? If so, please pm to me. Thanks.

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