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#279 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,143
Internets: 284753
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I think Pliedes just showed up to get a gift and then moved on.
I will find you, Pliedes, and strike you down with the vengeance of a thousand angers. As I slide my knife into your chest, I will remind you of secret fucking santa 2k10, and you will know why it has happened. |
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#281 (permalink) |
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Ahoy Fuckbag
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In a pineapple under the sea
Posts: 3,540
Internets: 187030
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So we started with insults and gags ...
then we went to crucifix knives ... then we went to guns ... feel sorry for the son of a bitch that opens a bomb from their secret santa |
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Quote:
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#282 (permalink) | ||
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Puget Sound
Posts: 4,594
Internets: 1608
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Quote:
Quote:
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#283 (permalink) |
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Ho Ho Ho, Hoes
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: North Pole
Posts: 62
Internets: 3709
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Ugly,
Ho ho ho, I'm glad you enjoyed your gift! Santa actually sent out those packages at different times hoping one would get there before Christmas and the other after; the idea being that you would think a clown painting was your only gift. The postal service isn't nearly as reliable as reindeer! As to the painting, while you can't discard or destroy it (lest you be cursed) you can transfer possession to someone else (alone with the curse). That's actually how Santa came to own it. The airsoft (not bb) gun uses plastic pellets that don't actually break the skin. This means you can use it on shitty cats, surly dogs, rude friends or untame neighborhood kids. Or just shoot your girlfriend and piss her off so much you have to grab the lube and show her who's boss... that's why i do to Mrs. Claus most every night (while the elves watch and feverishly masturbate, of course). Merry Fuckin' Christmas, SS |
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Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.
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#287 (permalink) |
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COME ON YOU YANKS
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I retrieved an item from my mailbox a few minutes ago:
![]() I see you've slipped in before the deadline, IM. Good work. I also see that this is marked 2/2. Does that mean I should wait for 1/2 before I proceed? I need to be instructed. Also, it feels like a book (which is definitely not a gun). Care to explain that? |
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#288 (permalink) |
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G'd up from the feet up.
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According to weird Indiana laws, I'm not able to legally ship you part of gift 1 of 2 via USPS. I shipped it UPS to avoid possible ramifications much to the chagrin of my wallet and the SS' timeline. You're welcome to open part 2 now if you want, but it will be a disappointment. It's a very small part of the gift as a whole.
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Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.
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#290 (permalink) |
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COME ON YOU YANKS
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Ooooh, an alcoholic gift en route?? Color me tickled!
I ravaged the packaging to find a book inside. It's not just any book, though. It's a book about the greatest animal to ever exist! ![]() ROAR!!! Taking a closer look reveals that the book was written by esteemed paleontologist Elaine Landau. It's well known within dinosaur circles that her books are top notch. I wouldn't be surprised if this book is found within many research libraries. ![]() Yes! Precisely what I suspected. Not only is this book found within many libraries, but this particular copy looks to have been stolen from one! ![]() I can't say I'm particular surprised. It's tough to find a resource of this magnitude in a private collector's archives. Thanks, Santa! |
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#293 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 13,643
Internets: 247330
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Drinking my Four Loko now. About a quarter of the way through it and I already feel jittery but it could be unrelated/placebo. Still, five beers and five cups of coffee condensed into a single drink is bound to make the next 16 hours a little interesting. My Santa rules so hard. Four Loko to get loaded up on before playing with my gun. Awesome!
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#294 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 13,643
Internets: 247330
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Uhh... yea. Definitely not placebo. Halfway through it and my rate is racing. Putting it away for now. I feel like what I'd imagine a lot of guys at parties in business school feel like if you catch my drift.
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#295 (permalink) |
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Sex Kitten Milf fuuucck
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 3,704
Internets: 55974
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WOOOOO FOUR LOKOK JKRLEJALKRJELKAJRKLEJRLKAWJRKLJEWKLAJRkleaw rjkwaljrio4uro8i3!!!!!!!F?!?!?!?#JEklejrioewjrlkew jkl?!?!
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There's life and then there is Cubs baseball, it's a chore to seperate the two.
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#299 (permalink) |
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Jelqing for Jesus
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Charlotte's spare bedroom
Posts: 3,079
Internets: 194538
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I think you have to ask three times. I have to hate you as soon as you convert. Went to a chicken wings place yesterday for lunch and I was ready to kill the fucking jews in line in front of me. They all had fucking different dietary restrictions and were asking the teenaged chink to read ingreadiants of the wing sauces. Fucking whining assed jesus killers. No wonder towel heads and nazis want to kill them. they might be on to something.
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